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Being lost is TERRIFYING

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Today is the official second day of internship and I'm getting the hang of getting to my workplace. Travelling was smooth today after abit of worry of whether I would be on time for work. The terrifying thing happened just yesterday......

Clementi is located in the West side of Singapore and honestly I have no no no idea where places are in this area because honestly, I don't even know where some places are in my own town, Pasir Ris. Yes, I am a road idiot. I don't know whether there is a proper term in english so I'm just going to say it in the direct translation from the chinese term lu chi (Okay I don't even know if this han yu ping yin is correct because my chinese just sucks!). 

It was the first day so my mum insisted on me taking a cab to work because I'm not used to going to work. Not blaming her, I myself know that it's important to be on time for the very first day. And so I took a cab but apparently I do not know the way back to the bus stop that I can take this direct bus back. 

Yes, I was lost. I was walking round and round checking all the bus stop at Kent Ridge area and Clementi Road was not on a single on the bus board. My aunt's house is very near Kent Ridge but I had no choice but to take the train, which I don't like alot, to Buona Vista then to Clementi. It doesn't end there because I have to still take a bus back. 

It made me super sian. I was sweating buckets as I still had to walk after getting down the bus. Since it was the first time taking this bus that I heard that I can take from my sis, I had no idea where to walk to to head back. 

Second time lost. I was at a bus stop with loads of flats around and I had no idea which direction to walk. While choosing a random way to walk past a few blocks of flats, I do remember tearing up because I really hated the feeling of being lost but I held it back because I know I cannot be a macchiam crybaby and cry on the first day I'm away from home. I've got to be more independent. 

That was also when I thought of my home and I learnt a lesson. Not really a lesson lah, but a feeling. After a day of tough and stressful work and you're super tired and sweat and smelly, going home actually gives you something to look forward to. A place where your parents and siblings are, there would be this good feeling when you get home. 

I swear that now, I miss my home, parents and sister. And oh my god, I'm tearing up right now. Haha what's gotten into me? I guess I'm not that independent as I thought. I'm home-sick already. It has only been 2 days and I'm getting all emotional. 

It was really annoying yesterday but things are starting to get better. I guess I just have to get used to it. Even though I can't help but feel this way, I have just found out and I hate that I am just so dependent on my parents and my sister. 

I've been on study trips and I've missed my parents but I don't know why I'm being so weird and idiot now by feeling so... I don't know, homesick? Really considering going back to my home after this week. Even though it's really nice and cozy here, it would never beat my home. My home is the best. I just miss it so... 

But I'm going to teach myself a lesson too. I would be independent and I won't whine or insist on going back now. I've got to learn to go by myself and be independent. Let this week be like a training. I don't want to be too dependent on them, for my own sake. 

This post is soooo emotional hahaha. I don't know why I am being this way too but I'm already going 19 this year. Can't have a 19 year old depending on mummy and daddy all the time right? I'm just going to keep telling myself that I guess. 

I've finally fully understood the famous phrase by I don't know who: THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME. 

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