A week passed since the new year where we welcomed 2014. How was it? Was it great?
Well, for me, it has been bad. Really bad. Flooded with final year stuff is really suffocating me. I had always known 2014 would be a year full of decisions for me but I decided to face it with a positive attitude to make it as meaningful as possible.
Besides the seemingly never-to-end pile of work, I have University applications to think about. Where am I going? To be honest, I have no idea. I know what I love and what I want to do. Design.
But you know that sometimes reality smacks you so hard? People around you raising their eyebrows and look at you as though you were out of your mind for honestly saying what you want to do. I have enough experiences of that.
I always believe that in life, everything you do has a meaning to it. Exactly 3 years ago, I wavered. I always told everyone design was what I ever wanted to do. I had how I would look like 10 years down the road in my mind and I told myself that I would do my best.
Of course, I changed my mind and got into the course I am in now. Why did I do that? Because of the influence of others honestly. People were saying how hard it would be and how I may have to suffer if I make such a wrong decision.
Well, that was in year 2011. Now, it's 2014. And I came to know, what the hell makes them right? Are they god? Do they know it all? No, they don't. I was a fool. In the end I can never forget that at the end of the day, it's my life and I don't live for others, I live for myself.
If anyone out there reading this is in the same position as me, being looking down upon and having others say that you can't do it. It doesn't mean that you really can't do it.
NEVER, I REPEAT, NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DO SOMETHING.
I regretted not even trying 3 years ago. But I never regretted being in my current course because even though it was not want I wanted, I learnt so much as well. In life, everything has a meaning to it right? I think that being here, just proved to me that I want my true dream of design more than anything.
In school, I had modules that we had to design educational materials and food packaging. Unknowingly, I began putting everything I had into it. I now know that I want this more than ever.
I know people would be saying that sometimes your dream cannot be achieved by your because sometimes you just don't have the talent. People do say that but when they do, how do they know that you don't have what it takes? You won't know if you do too.
When I was in secondary 1, I watched this movie called 'Ice Princess'. A beautiful movie, it used to give me strength. I remember when the lead actress saying
'I wanted this more than I ever wanted anything...
If I fail, I fail, but because I wasn't good enough, not because I didn't have the guts'
I finally know what these words mean. As people always say too, you'll never know until you try. It happened to me and now it's too late to turn back. I'm only left in my pool of regrets. Too late to look back now right? In the midst of clearing the pile of work, I'll take my future into serious consideration. What I do may affect the rest of my life.
Just to end off the post, a song that has always motivated me.
Read All About It Part III
Emeli Sande
You've got the words to change a nation
But you're biting your tongue
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence
Afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?
So come on, come on
Come on, come on
You've got a heart as loud as lions
So why let your voice be tamed?
Maybe we're a little different
There's no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away
Come on, come on
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream 'til the words dry out
So put it in all the papers
I'm not afraid
They can read all about it
Read all about it, oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
At night we're waking up the neighbours
While we sing away the blues
Making sure that we're remembered, yeah
Cause we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden
Then we're breaking all the rules
So come on, come on
Come on, come on
Let's get the TV and the radio
To play our tune again
It's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events