Theres only so much negativity that one can take in this life. Even the strongest people or those trying hard to be will fall every now and then. Well, because we're human. It's impossible to be strong all the time. There will always be times when we'll feel vulnerable to whatever is happening around us. No matter how much we have achieved in our lives, it's not possible to have a "perfect life" with no worries or anything to knock you off your feet.
Knowing what you can do about it or reasoning with yourself is easy. You can make countless theories about how those things don't matter but shit gets real when those negative thoughts keep coming back and haunt you. But in the midst of all that, don't forget the people who have always been there with you. The people who were smiling with you during the happy times and the ones who actually care when you're at rock bottom.
It took me a long time to get back on my feet again.
I have been ignoring all the negative things all the time before and when it finally got it me, I thought "What if those voices are right? What if I'm really not good enough? Maybe everyone would be better off without me.".
But here's what I learnt: FUCK TRYING TO PERFECT
By trying to be perfect I meant it to myself (self note) and to all those around me. Fuck what they think. But as I said, reasoning with yourself is easy. The heart and brain are two very different organs. You can thinking of things in a way but your heart may still ache no matter how logical those reasonings may be.
To whoever whose in the same position out there, I don't pretend to be an expert. But I want you to know that it's okay to cry your heart out. I did. Take your time. Be around the people who appreciate you because those are the ones who will reassure you because they love you.
Tell the people you love not to ask or say anything and hug them. Tightly. Sometimes you don't need words but just that warmth to know that you're not what those voices are saying about you.
You still have the chance to be whoever you want to be and you can start again any day you want. Maybe today. Like me.
Before I end off, I want to thank my dearest cousin who was the one there for me when I was at rock bottom. Who stayed and listened to what I had to say and tell me that I'm still worth it. I love you.
As usual, music is one of the things that I turn to. This song really hit home. Every single lyric made me feel that when I'm ready, all it takes is that courage to stand up again. To slowly knock every negativity I have aside and embrace who I am. God bless Rachel Platten for this song that has inspired so many, including me.